Today I have had that song on repeat. It's been one of the darkest days I've experienced in awhile. Started off great! Woke up and laid in bed watching my stomach jiggle because little girl was having yet another dance party. I love it when she does that. I sit there amazed that God has chosen me to be this girls mother. I've never met her but I love her so deeply already! Pregnancy is such an amazing experience. I pray one day everyone can experience this.
As the day went on...it got ugly. Started having stomach issues. I can get passed that. But then Coby, our 80 pound chocolate lab decided to go on a candy binge. Ate a whole bag of candy corn. It's the season right. WRONG!!! About an hour later I walk into our bedroom to a pile of orange and purple vomit! Did I mention dog vomit is the one thing to get this prego to vomit herself!? I get up the courage to clean it up. It's pretty much a lost cause because our carpet is basically white and nothing come out of it. I do another load of laundry because apparently 3 loads last night wasn't enough. Walk back in the room to another pile of puke. Seriously dog?! I hope you learned your lesson! I'm sure he was like I hope you learned to not leave candy in my reach again lady! I cleaned that mess up and didn't vomit. I can do this right. Surely Emersyn will one day have poop up to her eyeballs...God is just preparing me.
I proceed to finish getting ready to head to work and walk down the hall. Another pile of puke...look down the stairs...2 more things of puke. I'm genuinely starting to get concerned for my dog at this point. But the vet said those aren't poisonous and he probably just has very bad stomach ache. That'll teach him I guess. After, praying to the good Lord for some mercy and help to get me through this cleaning...I clean and clean. I wouldn't worry so much except for the fact we have guests coming in less then two weeks. I can't have bright colored stains everywhere. The carpet cleaner can only work so much magic. I clean up the messes and tell myself the day can only go up from here.
I jump in my car and call my husband to tell him to check on Coby when he gets home to make sure he's ok. As I am driving this guy decides he wants over when I am right next to him. I lay on the horn and swerve as far as I without hitting the barrier on my left side. I was still on the phone with J at this point and think I must have hit my emotional peak because I lost it. Couldn't talk lost it. Ugly cry lost it. But I got off the phone and just turned on the praise and worship. I have so much to be thankful for. I can not and will not let this ruin me. It really was a personal attack from satan. All I wanted to do was cuss. I mean F bomb cuss...if you know me...you know I mean business when it comes to that.
All in all, my day still go worse. I got hungry to the point I cried...pretty sad right. Then I jumped on my gmail page and noticed that a girl we were close with had added me to her google circle before passing away last week. I lost it again. Just seeing her face has brought me to tears as I sit here and write this. But also as I write this...I think of her. She always lit up a room! This girl was 18 years old. Battled cancer pretty much her whole life. She kicked cancers butt a few times...and here I sit...crying about having to clean up puke and getting run off the road and surviving and being so hungry that I cried. I began to smile. I am blessed. I was able to go to high school. I was able to date on a regular basis. I was able to live without restrictions. Missy couldn't do that. But I honestly never really heard that girl complain about the life she was given. Its the cards she was dealt. It didn't consume her! The Lord has an amazing partner in crime up there in Heaven. That girl was a fighter. I know she is with her Prince now in Heaven. She was always defeating Satan. So today I fight with Missy and for her. Even though we weren't the closest people on the planet...I still loved her and the person she was very much. Her and her sister both were AND ARE incredible people. So, today, I will "try" not to cry another tear that isn't a happy tear. I will be grateful for the bumps I hit because I am thankful to be here, I am thankful to be married to a great man, I am thankful for my unborn child, and for my family and friends and I am thankful to be forgiven and loved by an amazing Father!
I jump in my car and call my husband to tell him to check on Coby when he gets home to make sure he's ok. As I am driving this guy decides he wants over when I am right next to him. I lay on the horn and swerve as far as I without hitting the barrier on my left side. I was still on the phone with J at this point and think I must have hit my emotional peak because I lost it. Couldn't talk lost it. Ugly cry lost it. But I got off the phone and just turned on the praise and worship. I have so much to be thankful for. I can not and will not let this ruin me. It really was a personal attack from satan. All I wanted to do was cuss. I mean F bomb cuss...if you know me...you know I mean business when it comes to that.
All in all, my day still go worse. I got hungry to the point I cried...pretty sad right. Then I jumped on my gmail page and noticed that a girl we were close with had added me to her google circle before passing away last week. I lost it again. Just seeing her face has brought me to tears as I sit here and write this. But also as I write this...I think of her. She always lit up a room! This girl was 18 years old. Battled cancer pretty much her whole life. She kicked cancers butt a few times...and here I sit...crying about having to clean up puke and getting run off the road and surviving and being so hungry that I cried. I began to smile. I am blessed. I was able to go to high school. I was able to date on a regular basis. I was able to live without restrictions. Missy couldn't do that. But I honestly never really heard that girl complain about the life she was given. Its the cards she was dealt. It didn't consume her! The Lord has an amazing partner in crime up there in Heaven. That girl was a fighter. I know she is with her Prince now in Heaven. She was always defeating Satan. So today I fight with Missy and for her. Even though we weren't the closest people on the planet...I still loved her and the person she was very much. Her and her sister both were AND ARE incredible people. So, today, I will "try" not to cry another tear that isn't a happy tear. I will be grateful for the bumps I hit because I am thankful to be here, I am thankful to be married to a great man, I am thankful for my unborn child, and for my family and friends and I am thankful to be forgiven and loved by an amazing Father!
By the way...short update...Emersyn is happy and healthy and kicking like crazy every day. Can't wait to meet this little blessing!
