My life has been a little crazy for awhile so I apologize for not updating. But let me catch you up so everyone can be on the same page.
May 8th-Jordan had caught the stomach bug from someone at work and had been miserable for a few days. I, being the awesome wife I am, was taking care of him every day to make sure he made a quick recovery. Well, this morning, I woke up feeling nauseous. Like hit by a bus nauseated. As I headed into work, I decided to make sure I wasn't pregnant so I swung by Walgreens to pick up some pregnancy tests. I knew I wasn't pregnant. This month was really rough at our fertility appointments and our window was so small compared to other times since I ovulated later then normal. I prepared myself for a negative result. But every time I pee on the stick, I always say a little prayer. So I did that in the bathroom of Panera Bread in the afternoon while waiting for my mac and cheese. I did my business and waited my time. I didn't even really want to look. I wanted to just throw it in the trash and go hoover my mac and cheese. But boy am I glad I waited. There it was, the tiniest little faint positive. Holy crap!! I had a momentary freak out then closed my eyes and prayed. I immediately called Jordan...
"Hello?"
"Hey, you busy?"
"I'm just eating lunch with the boys...whats up?"
"Well, I don't think I caught your stomach bug."
"What? Seriously?"
It was a really cute conversation but short. Next I called my sister in law Lauren. As soon as she answered I started balling. I was terrified at the same time. This whole thing had been an emotional roller coaster for us. I was just so scared God would take another one away from us. She reminded me that He doesn't take them away to punish us for anything, more to protect us and the baby. It was exactly what I needed at that time.
The rest of my day was filled with going and getting blood work to determine my hcg levels and lots of waiting for those levels. But they came back positive. And so it begins!!!
May 10th- What a scary day? We were having a great sunday and getting ready for our church small group when I felt a gush of something. I go to the bathroom and my fears had come true. Blood...lots of it. We rush to the hospital immediately. I knew it. Our journey was over. Another miscarriage at 5 weeks. Why does this keep happening? I just remember praying for the safety of the baby. I was ok with God taking another one if it meant the baby was safe. I had already decided it was a miscarriage before getting to the hospital. I put on my normal happy face and tried to smile as much as possible as the nurses and doctors rushed to take my blood and everything. About an hour and a half later, the doc came in and said the words I never thought I would hear..."well, your levels are still rising which is a good sign. But since you are so early in pregnancy, it may be too early to see anything on an ultrasound, but we will look just to see and then check to see if your cervix is still closed." Wow...ok God...I am listening. Don't close a door until its actually closed stupid!! After a 7 hour ER trip...we left with a threatened miscarriage and pelvic rest. God is still good!
Every week from that day, I had days with bleeding. As terrifying as it is, the baby kept growing.
May 27th- By far the best day we have had in awhile. Despite all of the fear and dark clouds surrounding us...we got to see the cutest little embryo with the cutest little flutter of the heart! PRAISE THE LORD!
July 10th- We had our first appointment with our OBGYN today. I love her. She seems awesome and right on board with me being super careful about everything. She knows I am having slight anxiety with the bleeding that happens so she will see me every 4 weeks to keep me calm. I love that!! We head to our ultrasound. They are checking the baby for birth defects like down syndrome and other trisomy birth defects. I am a nervous wreck but praying is helping.
Luckily our kid likes to show off already...I am pretty sure he/she gets that from me! As soon as the tech places the probe on my stomach, it starts bouncing and having a major dance party. I also noticed some ninja-like moves going on. But sadly ,like its mother, it stops doing what the tech needs it to do so he could get clear photos of the neck. Luckily the tech was able to see enough to think there is no risk for abnormalities thus far. Horray!!! We have been lucky enough to see the baby every 2 weeks since we were going through infertility, but now that we are farther along...we have to wait 4 more weeks! I don't know how I will do it but its got to be done. All I know is...I can't stop crying! God is knitting this precious little miracle child inside of me. And this baby is nothing short of a miracle. Hopefully this journey just continues to get better and better. But we will leave you with this...
Never give up on God.
